"You are my sweetest downfallThe lyrics to the opening verse of Regina Spektos Samson are beautiful! There are many other words that could be used to describe them, but I think beautiful sums up exactly how I feel about them! I still remeber the first time I heard this song and how it simply made me stop and listen.
I loved you first, I loved you first
Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth
I have to go, I have to go
Your hair was long when we first met..."
This past month I have had this song doing laps of my head, and when I thought it was going...I found myself sat around a piano singing it! Rather than have a post dedicated to the feelings that Ms Spektor causes to stir inside me when I listen to her music I thought I would instead share my tohughts on a certain part of the first verse.
I loved you first...it seems simple enough; but then you start to think bout the value of this statement and if it has any at all. How can one be certain that they are the first, what are you first to? what time scale are you working towards? What's so good about first? First has no measure when it comes to love. Also there is no measure of love, the whole concept is subjective. Life is not a race in the strictest sense. Things do not always follow an order, and even when there is order in things chaos may still ensue.
I enjoy the chaotic elements in life and the excitement hidden in not knowing what may come next. First means minimal in realists terms. Achieving your goal first, or quickest may seem like the completion of one's goal but the true test starts in maintaining all those things that you have to do to achieve your goal and staying on top of the game. Being first just means you have longer to work at something.
...as Imogen Heap sings...There is beauty in the breakdown...and I'm a good fan of living through the process and not getting cause up in the end. What's the point in the journey if you don't enjoy the ride!?
Regina can be found hiding here
being first is no fun if you have no-one to share it with!
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