Ok things I have realised of late...

1) I am not competitive apart from when it comes to one-on-one sports like air hockey.... my competitive spirit died with the end of house hockey, netball , rounders and so in in Y11. I really do just enjoy the taking part.

2)  I despise people who lie, are lazy, unwilling to serve, are selfish, single-minded, childish and overdramatic amongst many other things, Im working at this and I don't hold it against them, but everytime that aspect of them is manifested I imagine hitting them with a fish! no really then I laugh and all is good!

3) Prude? ...erm yes a little.

4) I love sausages...like really!...favourite meal - sausages and mash, second, toad in the hole, third sausage casserole...no lie!

5) I love it when I'm proven wrong! I'm usually proven right.

6) Board games are the best.

7) It really does sadden me that people don't actually "write" anymore.

8) I don't judge things on appearances because appearances fade and are also quite often fake, but I like it when things look pretty.

9) I enjoy cooking more than I enjoy eating and that's saying a lot.

10) I love developing new skills, since deciding I was going to teach myself how to crochet no ball of yarn has been safe! I'm taking my sign language back up when I go back to Birmingham and I want to learn Spanish! Any thoughts as to what else I should try my hand at are more than welcome. I enjoy a challenge.

This week I've had a few intense conversations that i have totally loved! All adding in some way to give my life some sort of direction! Last night I had one while chewing on a polystyrene cup for about half an hour. I've got a lot to think about and I know that I've already spoken to two of the probable three people that read this blog about my up coming decisions, thank you for listening and for your advice!

Dear Mr United Nations,

I am very interested in working for your organisation, I think the work that you do is of value and I would like to be a part of it however I have a few issues;

1) Why do I have to be 25?

2) Why do I need to have more qualifications to volunteer for your organisation than I do to work for you?

I'm a lovely person and I want to volunteer, surely you've heard the phrase every little helps!? Just for you and your requirements I will spent the next three years trying to learn either French or Spanish and working for other groups that aren't ageist, and would love to have me as part of their team. How about a Masters in Cultural Development? not enough...ok I'll think on it!

Yours faithfully

Rochelle Hadley

the girl that will one day run your little organisation...I jest!

As soon as I break any assumed routine that I may develop everything goes to pot....usually starting with my sleeping patterns. So as soon as I decided to go home for a while I knew not to expect to become too familiar with my bed!

last week while in Birmingham I found myself watching women, weddings, wars and me around 2am. The program was about a girl called Nel who's family had left Afghanistan when she was five. She was now in her late teens/early twenties and was going back to see what the situation was like for women there now that the reign of oppression under the Taliban was 'over'.

As time went on I was intent on staying awake for another hour or two to see another program that was starting half an hour after the other finished called The Worlds most dangerous place for women where Judith from south London wen't back to DRC.  A war has run rife in the heart of Africa for over a decade and both sides have used women as a weapon.  Upon arrival in the Congo Jude had the opportunity to spend some time with her parents whom she hadn't seen since she was three, after a couple of days in the West of DRC she moved over to the East for a further five weeks. I have studied the shocking perversions of justice throughout the history of the Congo but all from behind the veil of education. I watched as an anthropologist assessing the opinions of directors, the aims of pieces and looking for cultural significances, the horrors of the situation although VERY apparent had no hold on me. Instead I focused on how it was all documented, dark fractured limbs shot against clean white sheets for high contrast, you have to detach yourself from it all as I already come out of my Friday lectures moved, if I became emotionally vested I'd be a mess week on week. I had no choice this time.  Village after village story after story; from the outset you knew it wasn't going to be the most pleasant of programs to watch but what I took from it was the immense strength of the women who accepted all they had been through and we're fighting for change against opposition from all around.

It got me to thinking about all that my grandparents had done in choosing to come to England all those years ago so that their children and the rest of their posterity could have better opportunities than they would have had back in the Caribbean even if it meant leaving family and high status' within their community to start again in a foreign land...all for me to decide that I want to move away and experience new things, but they understand why and support me in it fully. I've been to Jamaica once but I was too young to really remember it for what it was, I'd like to go back and see where my family is actually from. I'm also saving up for a trip to Curacao and St Vincent where my dad was born as I've never been and I still have family out there that I've never met. Crazy!

...the smell of my bed sheets at my dads house

...Springtime BBQ's at dads

...the way Jasper (cat) reads my work over my shoulder

...the way Salem (cat) pushes me out of bed

...my nans copious amounts of hidden crocheted goods hidden in the spare room

...my nieces and nephews constant question asking and staring

...maple pecan plaits...oooh yes!