Archive for January 2010

Made My Day!

I will find where I can buy a copy of this book for comedic value alone!

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Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?...

I've had a fair few conversations with people over the last week that have had me thinking  (shock horror). There are two things that I've not been able to get out of my head. I've had an impression since I was younger...much younger as in befor my sixteenth birthday that I would end up in Asia when I was older. I don't know in what capacity but since my mid teens the feeling has never gone away. I was there this Summer in a country I never imagined I would ever travel to, doing something that I'd never thought about until three months befor I was in the country. I was in Nepal teaching monks for four weeks and I had an amazing time, I grew so much and learnt so much about myself, I'm glad I went through with it. I still have the feeling that I'm meant to do something in Asia and I don't know what. One of my options for after university is Teaching in Thailand for a year. It sounds like another form of escapism just avoiding getting on with life, but it's anything but. If I did go I'd be teaching daily, in a foreign country, without my usual support system. It would also be a trial for me to see if I could handle being an actual teacher, I know that teaching in English schools would be nothing like teaching in Asia but I would be doing much of the same things; lesson plans, marking blah blah blah. If I decided it was the right thing for me to do in England it would only strengthen my application for  pgce. There is also the fact that I feel like I've been in Education forever, Teaching in Thailand wouldn't be a complete cut from that but it would be something different which is what I think I need. If I got a job and planned on doing a pgce later there is a strong chance that I wouldn't do a pgce because I'd become to used to working the 9-5.

I've spoken with some dear friends about my thoughts and as much as I tried to sell the prospect of doing a pgce, they've all told me that out of my options, going to Thailand is the one that sounds most like what I should be doing. I spoke to one friend about it ... her suggestion was that maybe I was going to end up serving a mission in the East... in which case I'm a little prepared and it wouldn't be the huge culture shock that I experienced when I first landed in Nepal. We decided I'd either end up serving somewhere in Asia or in London South  Mandarin Speaking....I'm thinking the latter but that's  fair few years away.

On top of me having my near and dear telling me to jet off to Thailand for a year I was asked what I thought about a quote which I cannot remember word for word, but it's main jist was that we should not become too hung up on trying to blaze our own trail and instead deal with the challenges that life throws at us as and when they occur! One of my favourite quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson goes as follows

"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
 Needless to say I've been thinking bout the two seeing if there is any way that they can work together. The Emerson quote I've always taken more as a not to be afraid of the unknown, the classic just because it is doesn't mean it's right. Sometimes change is needed even if it's only you who thinks so. The thought of trail blazing to me sounds tiring and anyhow if you're constantly trying to blaze your own trail eventually you'll burn out. My feelings about the East isn't me trail blazing.... I don't think. I'm following a prompting that I've had with me for the last five or more years. It's a prompting that I need to satisfy as otherwise I'll never be able to settle in one place.

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Exams are looming.
I wish I had a photographic memory.
I'm having to read a theory of Justice by John Rawls amongst other books as revision.
I can't wait until I gradute and I can read Rawls without thinking what questions I'm going to be asked on it!
When I finish this book I have Pogge and Nozick to slave through yet again.
It is for these reasons that tonight I am playing on the N64 befor my brain explodes.
A bit of mind numbing entertainment does do one some good!

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Things I have in common with the queen...

... I have two birthdays! No I don't use it as an excuse for extra presents! June 14th is what everyone would class as their birthday....reflecting the day they were born! However ...January 6th is more significant to me; on this day three years ago I entered into a covenant with my Father in Heaven and the blessings I have gained through being a member of his church are far better than any other gift I could recieve and they keep on coming! The first year mark was spent in Ireland with friends, the second in Milan with different friends and this home in Manchester, in bed! I beat the queen! My second birthday is an actual day of significance! I think this picture shows how much she wished her second birthday was as important as mine rather than just a formality...

two thumbs up from the Queen!

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December is darkest and June is the light...

If I am lost for a day; try to find me
But if I don't come back, then I won't look behind me
All of the things that I thought were so easy
Just got harder and harder each day
December is darkest and June is the light
but this empty bedroom won't make anything right
While out on the landing a friend I forgot to send home
Who waits up for me all through the night
Calendar girl who's in love with the world Stay alive
Calendar Girl who's in love with the world Stay alive
I dreamed I was dying; as I so often do
And when I awoke I was sure it was true
I ran to the window; threw my head to the sky
And said whoever is up there,please don't let me die
But I can't live forever,I can't always be
One day I'll be sand on a beach by a sea
The pages keep turning, I'll mark off each day with a cross
And I'll laugh about all that we've lost
Calendar Girl who is lost to the world Stay Alive
Calendar Girl who is lost to the world Stay Alive
January, February, March, April, May I'm alive
June, July, August, September,October I'm alive
November, December, you all through the winter,
I'm alive
I'm alive

I'm pretty sure back in 2006,
Stars saw what was my 2009 to be,
wrote a whole album about it
and put it out there just for me!

...incase you want more...***

I will also stop posting random
songs, poems and quotes
rather than actually writting anything on here!

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Just because something's uncomfortable doesn't mean it's wrong. And just because you have your doubts about what you're doing, or you don't trust yourself 100 percent, that's normal. There's this illusion that people who do stuff are totally confident, and I've never been. I've been riddled with doubt through the whole thing. You know, with a few flashes of maybe, maybe this will be great.

- Miranda July

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Fill in the Blanks

I woke up and folded my self along the dotted line, looked outside the window and took a sharp intake of breath! It was beautiful! It was pure white outside, a blizzard of sorts in central Manchester. The view that I was so used to, looked totally different; peaceful, calm, serene! It was as if all of the buildings had just wiped off all of the past year and were ready to start the new year fresh. Three years of painting my life on the blank canvas that Manchester was when I first moved here; the city to me now looks like Jackson Pollock went insane with memories and painted them along every path that my feet have explored and made my home. Maybe it's time to start a new piece in a new city? I get to choose four options, I'm quite excited!...number four is Manchester....I still can't cut my strings fully....not yet anyway!

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A Gotham Garden of Verses


All night long and every night
The neighbors dance for my delight;
I hear the people dance and sing
Like practically anything.

Women and men and girls and boys,
All making curious kinds of noise
And dancing in so weird a way,
I never saw the like by day.

So loud a show was never heard
As that which yesternight occurred:
They danced and sang, as I have said,
As I lay wakeful in my bed.

They shout and cry and yell and laugh
And play upon the phonograph;
And endlessly I count the sheep,
Endeavouring to fall asleep.

Franklin P. Adams

I wish I could get to sleep!

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"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing it's best night and day to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight and never stop fighting"

- e. e. Cummings
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