Archive for April 2010

This Week

Ok things I have realised of late...

1) I am not competitive apart from when it comes to one-on-one sports like air hockey.... my competitive spirit died with the end of house hockey, netball , rounders and so in in Y11. I really do just enjoy the taking part.

2)  I despise people who lie, are lazy, unwilling to serve, are selfish, single-minded, childish and overdramatic amongst many other things, Im working at this and I don't hold it against them, but everytime that aspect of them is manifested I imagine hitting them with a fish! no really then I laugh and all is good!

3) Prude? ...erm yes a little.

4) I love really!...favourite meal - sausages and mash, second, toad in the hole, third sausage lie!

5) I love it when I'm proven wrong! I'm usually proven right.

6) Board games are the best.

7) It really does sadden me that people don't actually "write" anymore.

8) I don't judge things on appearances because appearances fade and are also quite often fake, but I like it when things look pretty.

9) I enjoy cooking more than I enjoy eating and that's saying a lot.

10) I love developing new skills, since deciding I was going to teach myself how to crochet no ball of yarn has been safe! I'm taking my sign language back up when I go back to Birmingham and I want to learn Spanish! Any thoughts as to what else I should try my hand at are more than welcome. I enjoy a challenge.

This week I've had a few intense conversations that i have totally loved! All adding in some way to give my life some sort of direction! Last night I had one while chewing on a polystyrene cup for about half an hour. I've got a lot to think about and I know that I've already spoken to two of the probable three people that read this blog about my up coming decisions, thank you for listening and for your advice!

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Carmen Sandiego

When I graduate I will be changing my name to Carmen Sandiego!

Ok I'm not...

...but my life feels like it'll be turning into the 90's computer game and I can't wait!

Even if the first stop is Birmingham

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Letter *2

To Whom it may concern,
            I’m sorry, I know it hasn’t always been easy but I’m trying. I do love you and that can never be contested, we’re too similar to actually get on; you know it’s true. You’re stubborn it makes me laugh but I’m the same and that doesn’t bode well for us.  It’s not just our stifneckedness that we have in common, our sense of humor, like of good food and satire, comedy…to an extent. However I’m very grateful that our taste in music is VERY different. You’ve taught me so much through your example and yes as much as I deny it I always listen when you give me counsel and as silly as it may have sounded at the time, given time I understood what you were getting at in your round about way. Your stories I have heard time after time, you’re going a little crazy but I love it.
I love that you care, I love that you know I care, I hate that I hardly see you but I think it’s probably for the best; I don’t think anyone would be able to deal with the combined force that is us when we’re together.
I’ll speak to you soon

love always

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Letter *1

Dear Mr United Nations,

I am very interested in working for your organisation, I think the work that you do is of value and I would like to be a part of it however I have a few issues;

1) Why do I have to be 25?

2) Why do I need to have more qualifications to volunteer for your organisation than I do to work for you?

I'm a lovely person and I want to volunteer, surely you've heard the phrase every little helps!? Just for you and your requirements I will spent the next three years trying to learn either French or Spanish and working for other groups that aren't ageist, and would love to have me as part of their team. How about a Masters in Cultural Development? not enough...ok I'll think on it!

Yours faithfully

Rochelle Hadley

the girl that will one day run your little organisation...I jest!

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Late night Entertainment

As soon as I break any assumed routine that I may develop everything goes to pot....usually starting with my sleeping patterns. So as soon as I decided to go home for a while I knew not to expect to become too familiar with my bed!

last week while in Birmingham I found myself watching women, weddings, wars and me around 2am. The program was about a girl called Nel who's family had left Afghanistan when she was five. She was now in her late teens/early twenties and was going back to see what the situation was like for women there now that the reign of oppression under the Taliban was 'over'.

As time went on I was intent on staying awake for another hour or two to see another program that was starting half an hour after the other finished called The Worlds most dangerous place for women where Judith from south London wen't back to DRC.  A war has run rife in the heart of Africa for over a decade and both sides have used women as a weapon.  Upon arrival in the Congo Jude had the opportunity to spend some time with her parents whom she hadn't seen since she was three, after a couple of days in the West of DRC she moved over to the East for a further five weeks. I have studied the shocking perversions of justice throughout the history of the Congo but all from behind the veil of education. I watched as an anthropologist assessing the opinions of directors, the aims of pieces and looking for cultural significances, the horrors of the situation although VERY apparent had no hold on me. Instead I focused on how it was all documented, dark fractured limbs shot against clean white sheets for high contrast, you have to detach yourself from it all as I already come out of my Friday lectures moved, if I became emotionally vested I'd be a mess week on week. I had no choice this time.  Village after village story after story; from the outset you knew it wasn't going to be the most pleasant of programs to watch but what I took from it was the immense strength of the women who accepted all they had been through and we're fighting for change against opposition from all around.

It got me to thinking about all that my grandparents had done in choosing to come to England all those years ago so that their children and the rest of their posterity could have better opportunities than they would have had back in the Caribbean even if it meant leaving family and high status' within their community to start again in a foreign land...all for me to decide that I want to move away and experience new things, but they understand why and support me in it fully. I've been to Jamaica once but I was too young to really remember it for what it was, I'd like to go back and see where my family is actually from. I'm also saving up for a trip to Curacao and St Vincent where my dad was born as I've never been and I still have family out there that I've never met. Crazy!

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...the smell of my bed sheets at my dads house

...Springtime BBQ's at dads

...the way Jasper (cat) reads my work over my shoulder

...the way Salem (cat) pushes me out of bed nans copious amounts of hidden crocheted goods hidden in the spare room nieces and nephews constant question asking and staring

...maple pecan plaits...oooh yes!

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What The Even

My Dad  drops the most INSANE pieces of information into conversations!

his whole life is a JOKE!

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Count To Ten and Start Again!

I have been here half an hour and already I have taken to exile in my room!

my dad is hard on the best of days.

he's been stuck in the house for the past month or so like a bear with a sore head because he's had a haemorrhage in one of his eyes 

(his good eye to increase the dynamics in this tale of woe) 

I have come to spend some time with him before he goes insane.

instead he takes it out on me as if I popped his little blood vessel.

et voila 

me and the cats all on my bed hiding from the beast down stairs!

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Tonight as is so often planned we had a BBQ after theSaturday evening session of general conference! It was fun we ate too much we caught up like we always do; it's things like this that I know I'm going to miss! We had the BBQ on Alex's balcony because that was where most of the stuff for the BBQ was and she also lives closest to ASDA...the central point to the life of any student that lives in the Hulme area! After gorging ourselves on meat and cheese...classic BBQ staples we decided to watch fiddler on the roof as we knew we'd be hungry soon enough and I although I now know the words to most of the songs in the first half...had never seen it!

I enjoyed the part that I watched....we talked over most of the second half ....the whole thing is close enough to three hours I'm not sure anything can hold my attention for that long! Things I noted...

Fiddler on the Roof is probably the most irrelevant title ever! it opens with a shot of the fiddler on the roof, he comes down and plays a tune to Tevye (the father in this tale...whose family the story is actually about) maybe half an hour in and then the closing scene he walks after Tevye playing his "little fiddlers tune" the actual story line has nothing to do with the fiddler! I was expecting more a pied piper of Hamlin kind of story...I don't know why, but I was disappointed none the less!

As much as I have just expressed that I feel the fiddler doesn't deserve to be the subject of the title of the 
production I did enjoy the prologue that Tevye starts with based on a metaphor about the fiddler. The fiddler (we) is trying to scratch out a simple little tune while up there on the roof setting himself apart from the others while trying nt to break his neck in the process. It isn't easy! any why does he choose to stay up their....TRadition, no one knows where these traditions have started from but they keep them on the straight and narrow as it were. As a result of their traditions everyone know who they are and what God expects of them. 

We can choose how high the roof we choose to play our tune from is, we choose if we wish to play a tune at all. Many of us play because of tradition, and we can play the same tune as those that have gone before, others choose a different tune to play entirely. Without the traditions their lives would be as shaky as a fiddler on the roof who is struggling to balance on his precarious foundations as he plays his tune.

As we continued to chat after fiddler had finished I noticed a flickering orange coming from the balcony...yes the BBQ had set the balcony on fire....I think we were letting our light shine forth a little too literally!

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I believe in every breath you breath

never let a woman go even when you know 
she can always be replaced, she can always be replaced
tho our lust only grows like anger and revenge,
or beauty comes and goes but love stays until the end

i wrote you a song mississippi is a bell
i even sent you flower's when you fell ill
you've the strength of the greeks,you are gods master piece
you're ever triumph every victory I believe in every breath you breath

and I always imagined you be by my side 
whether I'm hiding in the city or I'm tearing through the wild 
you're only a yoke a noose on my throat 
if your beauty is a fortress then my love would be the boat

I'll fall in love with you I'll fall in love with you I must
I'd consume every part of you to indulge my love lust

never let a woman go even when you know 
she can always be replaced, she can always be replaced
tho our lust only grows like anger and revenge,
or beauty comes and goes but love stays until the end

...never let a woman go even when you know...

with a guitar in my hand or a gun in my hand 
I'd give it all up for her hand in my hand
for her sun on my skin as the morning begins 
I'd die in the dark just to feel your skin on my skin

never let a woman go even when you know

your soul
young love
young lust

treasure every beating heart that sets your soul on fire will set your soul on fire

thank you King Charles

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A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature...Emerson

Because yesterday was exactly what I needed!

I ate pastry and muffins, drank tea, watched half a film, walked to town, laughed till my cheeks hurt...and my stomach too, was lost in conversation, gave someone a token of my affection, found stuff so i could post another, came home on a high, did more work, was taken against my will and then had a hilarious night only to come home and read that no matter how far apart we may be in distance somethings never change! Time has the ability to change many a thing, colours fade, things become worn, we become tired but friendships have this unique quality of being strengthened by distance and maturing beautifully with time!

As Emily Dickinson said "my friends are my estate"... making me one wealthy woman! 

On a different note...
 my nephew Barrington died after having an unsuccessful liver transplant at the age of 12.

We may not know what tomorrow holds, and we cannot change whatever may lie in store, but we can make the most of today because we know that today is the day we make our mark on the hearts of others.

for all that you do, all I can say is

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"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing it's best night and day to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight and never stop fighting"

- e. e. Cummings
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