Mesh and Lace***

I'm not a great mind, and there's a good chance that nothing I write is going to be of worth in years to come! However still I feel that all that has gone before, should stay safe and securely kept where it occured; that being in the past. Of all the things one may choose to leave behind, and be remembered for teenage angst is not one!

I frequently sit in rooms full of people deep in discussion about many differing topics from state, society, culture, religion, music, politics the list goes on ( and at times so do the people )! One thing that I frequently notice is that my opinion, no matter how vauge or contrived, is usually shared by another in the room, who somehow always manages to express the point befor I can find utterance; much to the annoyance of myself. I love my degree with all my heart but rather than feeling that I am becoming a well rounded educated person, I find myself becoming more insecure, aware of my flaws and more unsure of what my future has instore. Along with the joys that come from a life with no direction comes the brain ache of trying to keep up in my tutorials...Never going to happen!

The escapist within does what she knows best, ignores my surroundings and instead dreams of anywhere other than here, doing anything other than this. The two posibilities well three for when I finish my degree are becoming regulr thoughts to ponder on. PGCE...seems a cop out right now and also rather the stressful. The way third year is getting to me I'm not sure that the stresses of a PGCE are for me right now! To stay in Manchester and just work! I love this city and I do clss it as my home but it would be cheaper and there would be less pressure on me if I was living in Birmingham. The other option... move abroad! The only option right now that gets me excited. The thought of being anywhere new experiencing things I have not so far in my 21 years on this Earth fills me with happiness...I think I may have answered my own question!...