Once upon a time...

The other week I had the misfortune of seeing one of my close friends quite upset because of something she had done. In the grand scheme of things it was nothing but at that time she felt as if her world was falling apart. I had nothing to say I had not been in the situation she was in, I tried to empathyse, I tried to relate her predicament to ones I had been in, but they all fell short. I tried to get her to calm down, I made her lie down and I made her stop talking [ I find that talking about bad situations makes you dwell on them and also blow them out of proportion....another reason why I don't speak] this didn't work as I could tell she was thinking about it! I had the ingenious idea of boring her to death... yes I cracked out my journal! It states in my journal after I read through once, that I think it probably the most uninteresting piece of extended writting on this earth and that says something! She thought the exact opposite. I'd forgotten how many little things I had written in there, reading them back to her, mocking myself, we were both laughing at some of the stuff I had written. Soon we were joined by another friend who didn't know why the other was upset but wanted to join in on the journal reading.

I used to be petrified about what would happen if someone who I didn't want reading my journal found it and did just that. I'd thought about tearing some pages out, I will not! Everything scrawled on those pages are things that I thought, felt and experienced; pretending they never happened would be cheating myself of memories along with my friends of the humor that flows through those pages of my life.

This is a formal retraction of the comment in my journal describing it as the most boring piece of writing ever! I may not find reading my the goings on in my life a few months after they've happened interesting but others do and in all fairness my journal isn't for me! In a few years I might look back on them and laugh, but right now my friends can look at them and draw closer to me. Laughing at how I wrote in my journal took her mind off what was going on with her and if my journal achieves nothing else....it did some good for her.

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"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing it's best night and day to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight and never stop fighting"

- e. e. Cummings
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